for the sake of my future

this is the last of it

spy vs spy

I'm in Montreal enjoying my honeymoon. It's our second day here - just taking it all in. I miss it here, but I'm pretty glad I don't live here full time. This city has a vibrant brilliance to it, but a real gloom as well. Summertime is perfect for that dualistic feel. Jess and I have been really growing together. I'm very happy that we did it this way. When you know, you know. People have always said it to me that way, it just took awhile to find it for myself.

I've been ready to enter a new stage in life, and she is my perfect opportunity. A match. Enough of that for now

We had a blast at Jana's cottage, and plan on spending a couple of days out in the country here in Québec after we leave Montreal. Once that's over, I'm headed back home. I've got some stuff to finish up before school starts - plus I need to replenish my cash stack. This is my last year of school. I'm so happy it's finally over. Again, I'm glad that I did it the way that I did. I needed a few good years of living before I got lost in the shuffle of the real world. Now I'm looking forward. I plan on traveling once I get my diploma, most likely teach English in Japan or elsewhere in Asia perhaps. Some idyllic Japanese fishing village with plenty of time to ourselves sounds perfect. Probably just for a year or so.

While Louisville will always be my true home, I'm more than likely going to set anchor here in Canada. It's just too perfect. Plus I don't have to wait for Barack to get his shit together before I get health coverage.

It's true

I got hitched.

Tango til they're sore

I did this last week. Except I got a little lost along the way towards the end. The maps I had with me were kinda shitty -- plus I had a flat along the way, so darkness had a factor in how late it took me to arrive at the Hostel.

I've definitely felt welcome here in Canada. I've found my people -- of sorts. I'd never be inherently Canadian, but I've created a root here -- maybe someday an anchor.

This weekend, I'm going camping with a few close friends. We're only going about 40 minutes out of town, but it's a decent park with a river and a lake. I may buy a second tent -- for extra people this weekend, plus I'll have a better backpacking tent if I do it that way. I've already acquired the world's most awesomest hammock.

My Spanish is passable, I went to a taqueria this afternoon and had a decent chat, partly because I was looking for pulque or bohemia, but mostly they wanted to know what an American was doing up there. I told them "the same thing as you are" en espanol. Jana lives here in the Portuguese neighborhood of Toronto, so it's nice to be surrounded by decent people speaking their native tongue all day long. I should give it a shot if I get around to it. I wonder if I could get a good day's lesson in before I leave.

this little light...

I'm riding out some sheer bliss. Things are going well in my life, and I'm taking some big leaps forward. Les pistes traversées par les étoiles. I don't know what my first course of action is, except for getting my ass out of school and finding myself a decent career path. I can cover my own ass just fine -- to a point, but I can't be driving a cab or digging from the trash heap for the rest of my life. Not that it isn't fun here and there. It's that I'm not equipped for that mode of life for the long term.

I can't exactly explain why I oddly feel like a turncoat. I'll have to evaluate that a little further. I feel like a real friend and visionary has been placed (metaphorically) sous rature. Hopefully this doesn't send him over. It's unfolding like a Greek tragedy in front of all of us. It's dangerous associating with a crowd like this.

Today should be nice if it warms up and the rain stays gone. I'm going out to the island with my torches to juggle a bit and enjoy the festivities. Jana's got a party underway in a couple hours. I've got a little shopping left to get done. See you on Wards Island around 2.

j'aime ton style de poitrine

I have had the absolute best time with my life lately. I've accomplished many goals here, discovered some beautiful people, solidified a nice little root here in Toronto. I'm at home here. I've been here many times, and I feel like I've got a decent anchor. Canada offers so much when it comes right down to it.

I've got one year left of school before I get my degree. I well deserve it. I punched bigger than my own weight class for too long -- now I've developed decent lean mass and I'm ready to fight fair or dirty. My first step is probably going to be teaching English abroad for a little while. Getting my feet wet elsewhere, in some faraway land, far from the comforts and crutches of my own culture. Or maybe I'll go to France and try and earn some skrilla.

When I use my French here in Canadia, I get by just fine -- way better than most anglo-americans, and typically better than most non-qc canucks.

My stint in Niagara was great. I rode my bike the whole way -- a few snags, but once I was there I had a real blast. Too bad I tore up my feet pretty good by walking solely barefoot or in my cleats. I didn't know that my friend Marty was going to be there and available, nor did I anticipate the flat out legendary time that got to spend there with him and his friends.

I'm ready to move forward and start setting out some life framework. Major goals and milestones, but mostly personal paths. It'll be good to take what I've learned here and set myself in motion when I get back home.

all my lovin'

I made it here to Niagara Falls from Toronto on my bicycle. My trusty steed guided me the whole way without any real problems, I had a flat that took me off the road for about half an hour. Aside from that, the trip went smoothly. Well, I did get lost a few times, once for over an hour. Trying to navigate random Canadian provincial routes after nightfall is not my forté exactly.

I'm looking forward to a nice trip home - I haven't decided if I'm planning on biking part way or just taking the train. I'm really saddle sore - if I had a couple of days to take it easy and recover, it'd be fine, but I don't want to push it.

I've taken longer bike trips before, but this was the longest that I'd ever ridden in one day. About 7 years ago my friend Stacy and I rode to Cincinnati, which is a bit farther, but we split it up in to just over two days.

I could use a nice sauna and a massage. All of my muscles feel tight and wearied. I'll feel like a million bucks soon enough though, once I recover.

Once I get back to Toronto, I need to make a fast track to the suit shop for a decent get-up for prom night. Why on Earth am I reliving high school? It almost feels like a favor, even though it'll be a blast.

Hi Mom, have fun in Mexico!

plans foiled.

I've been busy and happy as all getout here in Toronto this summer. My host Jana has been lots of fun and excitement, easy days, making good meals, having the time of my life. I bought some new bike parts here, and have mostly had good luck, except for two new racing tires that keep blowing tubes. I've blown five tubes in the last 24 hours. I figured I must have been doing something wrong - turns out, these tires are just so tight that you have to be so incredibly precise in inserting the chambre à air, that I just need to be more and more diligent and careful with the installation process. Stressful changing out my tubes in the middle of the city traffic - but whatever, these things happen.

Today I was supposed to ride the bike trail out to Niagara Falls, but I think I'm going to postpone it until next Monday when I can leave town in some sunshine instead of this ceaseless patchy rain.

I'm reading HS Thompson's The Proud Highway as well as a book of French poetry by Henri Michaux titled L'espace du dedans. The Thompson book is a collection of correspondence from the late 50s to the mid 60s. A period that I hardly know anything about, mostly pop culture and political history. What's cool is, the letters reference a major change and evolution in the body of work from a solid writer, and how books that he read, and events in his life shaped his writing style.

I don't consider myself an incredibly talented writer, but I write daily. I just need to address it to others more frequently. Drawing on the other hand, is something that is practically beyond me entirely. I absolutely need more practice, and probably some instruction because in this case, I'm worthless as an autodidact.

Now that I have the time to make time - as awkward as that sounds, I'm sure the concept is universal - I'm doing myself a favor and getting my feet wet by learning my VW and starting the processes to converting it to a greaser. It'll last me for a long time, I'm fairly certain - the body will fall apart long before the engine. I've even seen a few people driving them around town up here. In hipster and attitude infested Toronto - there are tons of old VW's. Ya know, maybe I can sell it for 3 times what I paid for it and get another!

everyday I get up and pray to Jah

My summer woofest here in Toronto has come into full swing. I haven't the foggiest what my summer here'll bring, but fuck it. I'm having a good time. The trick is not to get stuck without anything fun to fill my days with. I've been doing plenty of biking around, hanging with friends, and reading. I'm going to make it a habit of checking the TO craigslist for some gigs here and there, so I don't make changing my facial hair my fulltime hobby.

New revelations are coming to me all the time, and I think they're going to stick this time. I'm totally stoked. Life is a serious matter, but we have to overlook it.

sauve qui peut!

blogs chronicle our lives right? Imagine how soon it'll be before they are able to download perfect copies of our brains right? well - soon enough there will be hollow human beings out there to make the concept of identity fraud totally pointless. They would need only to parrot and mimic those around them. Thing is - among the people living these days in a very public way, that document and catalog their lives in every last detail, and live solely for internet reflection will be the most vulnerable and susceptible in the long run. If there exists DNA records and a neural copy of the mind and psyche, there will be clones ready for implantation that's certain. How fucking funny. This concept of hollow human beings logically means that there'll be someone out there who'll sacrifice his/her body for this full body transplant / brain transplant. What'll probably be nice is, it'll just be some poseur who just wants to assume someone's identity to some unhealthy level. The resulting transplant, whether it's done sci-fi style by just swapping and flopping the body parts in and out, or it's done in a more new millennium style of simply carrying around compressed existences as if they were software on usb keys. If these souls could only grow and evolve, that's our ticket to true immortality.

I am part of the problem/solution

It's finals time. I haven't turned in most of my stuff, so I'm playing more catch up than usual. I barely have the motivation to leave the house, so doing the schoolwork is a major task. I'm not sure if it's some mental block or something, but I'll be happy when it passes.

This whole week is dedicated to pushing this shit out of the way.

In other news, I'm pretty stoked that the insurance company finally settled my claim. I should put a down payment on this house.

Party at my place tomorrow night

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there's already enough to go around.

these moments of my life I totally live for. rehashing moments of my life with others only to return home for introspection. I keep these artifacts around for precisely these reasons. my books, cds, photos, clothes, whatever. fun old memories. I'm going crazy with the bitTorrent downloading albums of people I hadn't thought of since such and such era of my life.

My buddy Austin wanted me to give a testimonial of my life, and I'm having trouble. In particular the parts where the world came to intervene on my behalf. So much of the care and concern I feel for the défavorisés du monde stems from those days. Perhaps a little of the apathy as well

I had a wonderful night. a near perfect meld of old friends with new blood. Sarah Bard's band, Manhatta's last show. It was honestly pretty sad to see it all happening in front of me, knowing good and well that it wasn't happening again the same way. They trained, practiced all for the moment we all shared. Now we've only got memories to look forward to.

I trained a guy in the taxi today. Pretty fucking cool. I'm a big fan of keeping people I know in jobs. In this kill or be killed world, I want to make sure that you're able to bottomfeed at your own leisure.

You'll never meet your belle at the bar. mine's underage.

Shaun Cobble is probably one of the people I've known the longest in this town. I think he got it tonight. I'm here for the long haul, and I'm making something of myself. we laughed about this time 12 years ago, when I was 13 and I maced a kid for attacking me. His dad came in and yelled at me like he was going to sue. didn't happen, we knew the dude was a douche and after everything, we laugh about it now, nearly half my life later.

This town never killed me like I thought it would. in fact it's done all it could to embrace me. I can't believe how much it really does strengthen me ten thousand times over.

sauve qui peut

Long time no postin'.

So I never moved out west, it'll still be there when I'm ready for it.

I'm back in school making the final push to get my ass out of there.

Lately, I've been getting some decent fire eating gigs and some more potentials for the future - thus I've been trying to stay away from keeping a straight job until absolutely necessary.